HEIDI OELMAN

Sometimes I like to play a little game with myself that I call ‘Before and After Kids’. I do this when I’m feeling oh… I don’t know… nostalgic, thoughtful or masochistic.

New Years Eve Before and After Kids
Before: I would go hunting and gathering for a sparkly cocktail dress at a fun boutique. He would dress like a J Crew model hanging out on the banks of the Seine.
After: I wear a sparkly t-shirt from Target, yoga pants and fuzzy socks because dang my floor is cold. He wears anything machine washable because we have kids and snot, peanut butter, toothpaste.

Before: We meet friends at a sexy bar downtown and treat ourselves to amazing cocktails from a hipster Mixologist. The bar has good artist lighting that hides my crow’s feet. Wait, I don’t have crow’s feet yet.
After: We pull the Schramsberg Blanc de Blanc out of the garage. It’s from that one time my parents watched the kids and we had a life for a weekend in Napa. I use the dimmer switch in living room to create lighting but he already knows what I look like in the morning so I’m not sure why I do this.

Before: We move the group to an exciting, edgy restaurant, meet the chef and are served a special tasting. Feast and merriment ensue.
After: Pizza gets ordered. I’m thrilled I don’t have to cook.

Before: Meet at a bar with all the other revelers. Enjoy witty conversation with friends, make everyone laugh at my hysterical jokes, flirt with my cute husband, dance under the disco ball and big smooch at 12:00pm midnight. Stay out until 2am.
After: After feeding kids, bath time, brush teeth time, book time, stay-in-bed shenanigans for 30 minutes... we then rent a movie on Apple TV. We watch it before 9pm Pacific time. We don’t want to miss watching the ball drop in Times Square on channel 5. My legs are Sasquatch hairy. His belly is hanging out. Pass out at 9:13pm.

The Next Morning
Before: Get up around 10:30am. Ask for euthanasia.
After: Be awoken by our kids at 5:30am. Ask for euthanasia.

Glass-half-full-me says the before was f.u.n. but be thankful for my low maintenance, family-sized life now. And I am. Truly.

Sometimes, it just makes sense to pack the family up, load the car and go. Especially after you’ve checked your airline mileage balance and realize that you’ll need those miles for the family holiday gathering at your parent’s new place in the North Pole. Or perhaps you have zero plans for the weekend, grumpy kids and you are all out of Calgon. Time to hit the road! Check out our ideas for fun, family friendly Bay Area getaways for a night or two. Your favorite travel website will show many options for hotels in any of these areas.

Monterey Bay
About three to four hours down the peninsula is Monterey Bay, a beautiful place to take the family with plenty to do and see. Plan to spend some time at the Monterey Bay Aquarium. From penguins to sharks to a fantastic jelly fish display, this place will inspire your kids as well as yourself. Step outside on their deck and do some whale watching. Then meander down Cannery Row for shopping and lunch. When everyone is recharged, just a few minutes away is the awesome Dennis The Menace Playground. A mega-size play area, this is a must stop to wear out your little ones.

As this is a tourist destination, there are unlimited options for hotels but please remember the golden parenting rule: thou shall not drag the kids to a hotel without a pool. So make sure to research when booking. If Dennis The Menace playground doesn’t tire out your tots, the hotel pool will.

Carmel
Down the road from Monterey is this pretty little city. If you are looking for something a little less touristy, come visit Carmel. Two notable areas here are downtown Carmel-by-the-Sea and Carmel Valley Road. Downtown Carmel is right off the ocean with picturesque cottages and beautiful cypress trees. Carmel doesn’t have lighting in the streets which makes for a fun walk at dusk with flashlights to get an ice cream if visiting in fall/winter. Carmel Valley Road is a sleepy little inland area with a beautiful, scenic drive. Take a look at Los Laureles Lodge in Carmel Valley for a great place to stay. The perfect plan is a day spent in Monterey and the night spent in Carmel. The Baja Cantina is a very good family stop for dinner and in the morning, check out Katy’s Place for brunch. End your visit with a walk on Carmel Beach. The locals bring their happy dogs there to run and the surfers will be out. Photo opp alert!

Big Sur
If you want to take the family on an interesting glamping overnight, go see Treebones Resort in Big Sur. They have an accommodation called a Yurt which looks like a tent that put on a hoop skirt. Heated and plushy with lots of creature comforts, your family can be one with nature AND 400 thread count sheets, not to mention the views. Treebones offers a restaurant, a sushi bar and a heated pool. However, for another dining option, take the kids to Nepenthe for stunning views and an easy menu. Hikes abound in this part of the world. Don’t leave without taking the family on a hike through some majestic redwoods. Then end the trip with a drive through the seaside cliffs of Hwy 1. The view will be thrilling, the air will smell like the ocean, and your tot’s hair will turn beachy curly.

(Disclaimer: as of this writing, Treebones allows kindergarten age kids)

Sonoma
How about an African Safari without the 20 hour flight? An opportunity to pretend you are Dian Fossey? In the Sonoma Savannah! Sonoma is home to Safari West, a preserve that offers three-hour riding and walking adventures on their 400 acres. You’ll see giraffes, zebras, gazelles and birds to name a few of the 700 exotic animals that live there. Safari West offers a variety of accommodations and a continental breakfast. Imagine sleeping in one of their glamping tents and hearing the sounds of flamingoes or cranes in the evening. If your tots are animal lovers, and whose aren’t, this one will create memories. Make your stop in Sonoma a bonanza and take the kids to Train Town the next day for time with the conductor and a petting zoo! You could be done but there is more. Down the road is Sonoma Plaza. Stop at the Sonoma Cheese Factory and pick up some delicious, made-to-order sandwiches for your picnic at Sonoma Plaza Park. This plaza has plenty of room for you to put your picnic blanket down while your kids enjoy their play structure, conveniently located in the middle of the plaza!

Take advantage of living in Northern California. Your family’s next adventure is just a 3 hour drive away!

Do you ever look at pictures of yourself from that year before you carried that first baby? Do you look, oh I don’t know… fresh? Yes, fresh is a word I would use to describe myself during the days of my life where I showered daily, put on lip gloss, kept cute haircuts. Fast forward a couple of years into motherhood and I’m about as fresh looking as a gas station bathroom.

It’s not like I don’t want to look clean and pretty. It’s just that I keep choosing to feed people. Or dress people. Or do people’s laundry. And that whole sleep thing was nice in the first 35 years of my life. So the gal in my pre-baby picture? Well, I will revisit her down the road when these people living in my house move off to college. In the meantime, I will use some tired-mom beauty hacks to at least give the impression that I own a bathtub and a hair dryer.

Shiny, happy mom hair
Is your hair shiny because it’s lustrous and thick? Or have you not washed it since last week because you were busy raising people and keeping them alive? Do yourself a favor and keep your hair at a length where it can be pulled back. And invest in a good bottle of dry shampoo. Dry shampoo to tired moms is like peanut butter to chocolate… natural born buddies. Just a few, quick sprinkles of this magical powder and poof, your hair will appear as if your head was previously the Exxon Valdez spill and Dove Soap was used to clean it up. It’s that good.

All about that face
Motherhood has a reputation for assaulting that youthful glow. Got dark circles? Earning some Crows feet? Skin a little gray? Luckily, we live in an age where BB creams abound. These nifty little bottles of miracle can do wonders to quickly give you natural coverage and sheer color where you need it. And most formulas include that special light-reflectant ingredient that gives you a dewy glow. Dewy glow is a term usually reserved for 22 year olds. So go get some!

Brighten up
Next time the Gap has a sale, grab a couple of t-shirts in bright colors. Add some cute earrings. If you frame your face in color and ornaments, you will brighten your face to match your inner brilliance. Now how easy is that?

Take care of yourselves in these little ways, tired moms. We all need beauty hacks. Well, all of us except Heidi Klum. Heidi Klum just needs a hamburger.

“Don’t forget to date your spouse!”

Really smart advice given to me on my wedding day many moons ago. Of all the advice given to me, this was the one that stuck. Well, that and not to mess with his Gameboy devices.

Fast forward to a mortgage, two kids, busy lives and well, it’s easy to become ships passing in the night. Take a shower, put on something not covered in spit up or peanut butter and throw your anchors overboard. Dating your partner is your time to connect, catch-up and reset.Head out to dinner or try one of our ideas for a fun, unique date night in Marin.

Favorite Marin Date Night Ideas

1. Go on a Bubble Crawl
San Anselmo
Head to downtown San Anselmo to sample some sparkly champagne. L’appart Resto is a French restaurant that has a bar inside with many choices for a delicious, crisp glass of bubbly. On a nice night, you can sit on their patio for dinner too. Steak frites, s’il vous plait! Next, walk down to Lincoln Park Wine Bar. This lovely wine bar offers mini appetizer plates while you taste their fine Prosecco. End the evening at Valenti & Co for your final tasting. Owned by a charming local couple, this is a good place to get a hot bowl of risotto to soak up the Bubble Crawl. Then go home and drink a full glass of water with a B Vitamin.

2. Sway to the Music
Fairfax
Fairfax is a fun destination for date night. Start at Bolinas 123 for some artisan food, wine and cozy seating. Then meander down Broadway Blvd to some intimate live music venues such as 19 Broadway Bar & Nightclub and Peri’s Fairfax. Nothing like swaying to some music with your honey to ease the pain of paying your babysitter $20/hour. Get out your Uber app and take the town car home.

3. Bocce and Beer, anyone? Anyone?
Sausalito
Address: 1250 Bridgeway
Call that gal you really like from playgroup and invite her and her spouse out with you and yours. Motherhood is a time of rapid friend accumulation as sleep deprivation and weight gain are common bonding experiences. So share your newly found Littlelane date night idea and take the group to Bar Bocce in Sausalito. This pretty, airy, waterfront eatery has a bocce court and delicious beer and pizza. A fun spot for a group outing.

4. Light yourselves up with laughter
Mill Valley
Address: 142 Throckmorton Ave
Life been a little serious lately? Job is stressful? Your three year old smeared Aquaphor in their hair? Again? Head to Throckmorton Theater in Mill Valley for some laughs. They offer comedy and music shows through the week but have a standing comedy act every Tuesday evening at 8pm for established headliners and up-and-comers to try new material.

5. Listen to fascinating people at the Marin Speaker Series
San Rafael
Address: Marin Veterans Memorial, Avenue of the Flags
Every year, MPSF Speaker Series forum brings eight special speaker events to Marin. The speakers are prominent individuals who come speak to the crowd and offer an exchange of ideas, opinion and perspective. Topics range from politics to culture to arts to education. It’s a different kind of date night but as tired parents, we rarely get the chance to be somewhere together listening to someone talk about amazing, interesting concepts. It’s kind of like taking a college class with your spouse.

Now go date your spouse.

Guest Blogger Heidi Oelman lives in Marin with her husband. They still date each other. He likes to tell people that their 15 years together feels like 15 minutes. Underwater. Now that’s love!

Remember back in the day when you lived by yourself and you had a pretty good grasp of where things were? You were too busy working or socializing to be home much so life at home stayed relatively simple. Your major difficulty was assembling your Fjell from Ikea for your one bedroom apartment.

Fast forward to now. You’ve added a couple of kids, a spouse, maybe some pets and you’ve tripled your living space. You have super-sized your life. And with all this super-sizing comes stuff. Lots of stuff. Mountains of stuff.

It can feel overwhelming to have all this stuff. Sometimes it’s difficult to find something. So stuff gets lost and we buy more stuff to replace it. When stuff starts accumulating, cleaning is difficult. Before you know it, the producers of Hoarders are calling.

When you are responsible for a super-sized life and you lack time and energy to get organized, take baby steps. Here are a few rules to live by that are easy to implement and will have a big impact over time.

Simplify
Visit each room in your house. Review the stuff that is hanging out in each room. If it’s broken, take steps to get it fixed or recycle it. If you don’t use it often, find it a home and store it away out of sight. If you don’t use it at all, give it to Goodwill. Do one room per week. When you have finished all rooms, only the truly useful things will be on display in each room. Reducing the stuff makes it easier to clean, too.

Everything Has A Home
Start to accumulate all those chapsticks in every crevice of the house. Find a container and make the chapsticks live there. When you use a chapstick, put it back where it lives. Do this for all the little things that get crammed into junk drawers or piles… matches, sewing implements, pet accessories, nail trimmers, kids medications, parent medications, etc. Pretty soon, you can put all the little ‘houses’ on a shelf in a closet. And the next time you need some batteries, boom. You know where they live.

One in, one out
Make it a habit to skinny down stuff as you add other stuff. When you buy that cute blouse, bring it home and try to find a blouse in your closet that you haven’t worn in a decade and donate it. It’s in there. You know... the one from the Carter Administration? Buh-bye.

These are great baby steps to take. However, if you are at a point where you need real help, there are Professional Organizers who will help you simplify your home, improve your time management, declutter your stuff. Check out these recommended Bay Area Professional Organizers:

Clean Slate Interiors
415-505-9372
415-706-4469

Functional Spaces Organizing
415-295-2021

Serendipity Organizing
707- 981-7734

Guest Blogger Heidi Oelman wrote this article from her iPhone since she can’t find her laptop. It’s somewhere under all her stuff.